It is with a very sad heart

that I share the news that John and I have lost our baby.
On Monday morning, we went in for what we thought was a routine check up of the baby, when the Dr was unable to locate a heartbeat through the Doppler. He then did an ultrasound and it was confirmed that there was no longer a heartbeat and that the baby had passed away.
The baby was 15 weeks along and too large for me to have a D&C, so they scheduled us to induce labor yesterday morning at 9am. It was a long, hard day but at 7:30pm, I did deliver the baby... which was a little boy.
John and I were both able to hold the baby, and have an opportunity to say goodbye and tell him we loved him. I even fell asleep with him in my arms- which is something I did with both Jack and Anna Grace when they were babies. It was so hard to let go, knowing this was the only time I would get to hold my baby.
We named him James.
His little body was send to the funeral home for cremation - and John and I will decide what to do with the ashes at a later time. We know there won't be much, but we wanted whatever there was to be with us.
On Monday afternoon, I was absolutely inconsolable. John and I were both just terribly heartbroken. As he and I sat together and cried- something came to him. He remembered something his dad had said right before he passed away. He said that one of his biggest regrets was that he would not be around to see his grandchildren. As soon as he reminded me of this- I felt a great sense of peace... that little baby James will be with his Grandfather in heaven- how happy he must be to have a grandchild with him. I never met John's dad but I always imagined him to have John's quiet, gentle spirit- and I am so glad to know that someone like my John was the one to meet him in heaven.

Thank you for the prayers, emails, cards, flowers, and food that you all have sent to us. We are so blessed with amazing friends and family.

Thank you for your continued prayers through this grieving time.

Love, John and Suzanne

Through the 1st trimester...

Well, I made it through the first trimester... I was beginning to think I was just going to sleep through the whole thing. I was not tired at all with the twins, but this one baby has worn me out- all I want to do is sleep. I am beginning to feel a lot better- and actually able to stay awake past 8:00 PM. John has been great with helping with the kids, helping around the house- and he has even made dinner a few times (mexican food, of course).

We have had just a few issues with this pregnancy with some bleeding, but the Dr says I am still doing fine. I went to see him just last week and heard the baby's heart beat strong.

I go next week to the fetal specialist for a check up and to meet with the genetic specialist. Although Goldenhar's Syndrome is not genetic, since I did have a child with a birth defect, they will keep an eye on me and the baby just to make sure all is doing well. I am also hoping to find out the sex of the baby sooner than later- since I will go to the specialist with the high-def ultrasound machines (I found out with the twins around this time). John calls it "his boy" but I am hoping for another girl!!! I will be happy if it is a boy, but I did want a sister for Anna Grace- after all, where would I be without my sisters??? Oh well- if it is a boy we can always try for a baby #4!!! :-)

I attached a funny video of John playing with Jack- he is screaming like a girl but he really did love it!

Love to all,
Suzanne

A new baby on the way!

Hello family and friends,

John and I are very excited to share the news that we are expecting baby #3! We went to the Dr. earlier this week for our ultrasound and were VERY excited to see that it is just ONE!!! I had prepared myself for the very good possibility of having twins again (since my odds were 1 in 12) but, selfishly, I really was hoping for the experience of one baby.

John and I are very excited- we love our twins so much- they are everything in the world to us- so we are thrilled to bring another someone to love into our family.

Thank you for sharing in our joy!

We appreciate all your prayers,

Love, Suzy, John, Jack and Anna Grace

Two of my favorite things!

First day at Children's Morning Out

Well, it is back to "school" for my babies! There were no tears shed either- they were really excited to go. I attached a few photos of them- they seem like they are getting so big to me- but they are still the littlest ones in their class :)

I just had to show off the little desk John built for me in the kitchen. We had this area next to the fireplace that was just bookshelves- so he removed the bottom shelves and built me a little working area. He did a great job! I thought I would take a picture before it got messy with paperwork. I am still planning to build the stone fireplace like the one I did in the living room- I just got burned out on cutting stone... I needed a break! I will probably do it this winter- I hate the white tile.
I am going to convert my office into Jack's new bedroom- I am never in there anyway since I work off a laptop. It is a lot bigger so I am going to let that be their playroom until we get a separate one for them. John already knocked out his next project on his honey-do list which is to put up beadboard in Anna Grace's room. It looks perfect... now I just need to paint it. Just a few more projects and this house will be done- yay!

Trip to Oklahoma City

Us with John's mom, sister Marian, Ken, and G-Mom


John and his dad's sister Aunt Ann

I think this is a cute picture of me and Anna Grace, but really I put this in here because I don't look fat.

By the end of the party, her sweet white dress is brown :)

The kids with their GiGi

The life of the party!

Anna Grace with one of GiGi's puppies

This looks like a botanical garden but it is really

Mimi and Grandpa's backyard

Grandma ("Mimi"), Aunt Ann and Anna Grace-

I have finally figured out who she looks like- definitely

a Strealy girl!!

Anna Grace is being sweet- Jack wants nothing to do with it

Anna Grace had more fun with the water bottles than anything else

Jack is rearranging Aunt Ann's rocks

My sweet boy at G Mom's house

We just got back from our road trip to Oklahoma City for John's grandparent's 60th wedding anniversary. It was a great trip! I did notice that I mostly took pictures of the kids (there were other people at the party, really!) but I couldn't help it- they were so cute.