Caleb, Jack and Anna Grace

I am "slightly" behind on the blog- life has been busier than usual the last few weeks and haven't had time to sit down to do it.

The kids are growing so much and I am just amazed at the things they come up with. They keep me and John laughing...

Of course there are the many many fights too- just the other day Anna Grace was talking on a pretend phone to her Grandma- Jack wanted it but Anna Grace wouldn't share it. Yes, they were fighting over an invisible pretend phone... nice.

We cancelled our reservations to the Bahamas (seriously!) to spend our Spring Break in San Antonio because my sister Stacy and family are moving there next month. Shannon and her family and my mom and dad all made it out too so we had everyone there- it was a lot of fun! John's family lives just north of SA so we came out a few days early so we could see them too.

The flights to SA are so much cheaper than flying to Vegas- we have a feeling we will be out there a lot while David is stationed there!

Daddy and Jack at the pool at the resort

Anna Grace in the Bluebells

My babies turned three!

I cannot believe that my babies turned 3 years old this month- I guess it is true what they say... "Parenting... the days are long but the years are short"...

We had a great time celebrating with the kids- on their actual birthday we just had dinner with the four of us- pizza and cupcakes and a few presents. We had the extended family birthday party the following weekend and had everyone over for dinner. The kids had a blast playing with Alaina, as usual.

It has been a while since I posted- we have been so busy (not to mention I had gotten shingles- no fun) but things are good here at the Strealy household. John and I are heading to St John for a few days and leaving the kids with my mom... she may need a vacation after that adventure! John and I are sad to leave the kids, but we really need some time together without the many many many distractions of 2 3-year-old kids!

Chocolate chip pancakes while watching Sesame Street- they loved it!

December photos

I am sure our December is much like everyone else's- busy busy. The kids are growing so much- I am amazed at how they have changed in the last few months. I attached a few recent photos of our December so far. It has been a fun December- watching Christmas through their little eyes... they love seeing the Christmas lights, our tree, finding our Elf on the Shelf, etc. Christmas morning should be AWESOME!



Jack is REALLY enjoying a cupcake made by my friend Julia



Jack, Anna Grace and Mike Wazowski at John's office Christmas party. Jack LOVED Santa and Anna Grace treated Santa like she treats most people... with total indifference!




Anna Grace's favorite get-up. She will take off her clothes and put on this tank top of mine, my coach purse (good taste), and John's gangsta cap... which is cute at first... but when I am trying to get everyone dressed for school and she comes out with this on after I already had her dressed?? I have tried to hide the tank top too but she always seems to find it.

Picking up the pieces...

It has been a blur of a week - which has felt more like a month- as John and I are getting back into the busy-ness of life. It seems like I should be able to get a "time-out" and take a break from all the reality of work, school, etc, but that is not how it happens, I guess. John has been great through the physical recovery- letting me sleep in (which means getting up at 7 instead of 5) and rest on the couch when I need to.

Thanksgiving was quiet this year - I slept through most of it myself- but we do have a lot to be thankful for in spite of what has happened recently. I am so thankful for my wonderful husband, my sweet babies, our health, my beautiful home, our jobs, our families, our friends... God has blessed us abundently.

Jack was evaluated for speech therapy this week- and has been accepted into the speech program... so that will start after the first of the year. This was to be expected with his having had a cleft palate and the underdeveloped jaw. Although I have known since he was born that he may have some speech delays... it was still very emotional and hard to have someone else watch and analyze my sweet boy talk, play, respond, etc- I felt very defensive! (I felt that some of the tests were WAY too advanced for a 2-year-old, and that even Aggie would have had problems answering them- and my girl is the sharpest little 2 year old I have ever known!) They say that he is not far behind other 2 year olds with his speech and language, but will just need to be taught the things that Anna Grace will naturally pick up. But of course he won them over by the end of the session- there is just something about my Jackie-boy that draws people to him... he is so affectionate and sweet- he loves everybody- and was hugging everyone in the office by the time we left.

I did pick up the remains of baby James this week- it was unexpected but I felt such a sense of relief to have them with us now. The physical pain is subsiding, but I find the emotional pain to be at times overwhelming. I just feel such a sense of loss and emptiness- and although this baby was only a part of my life for 15 weeks- I will never forget him or the impact that he had on me and our family. His little life had meaning, and purpose and will always be a part of his mommy's heart.

I have just been overwhelmed with the outpouring of LOVE and compassion by our friends. We appreciate all the notes, emails, calls, flowers and MEALS! I am just blown away that our friends have committed to bring us meals through the month of December- they are just unbelievable. I was telling my friend Pam last night, who brought dinner, that I am able to make dinner and go shopping now- but she said to let everyone do this for us... that it is just their way of showing us love. It means so much to us. Thank you.

It is with a very sad heart

that I share the news that John and I have lost our baby.
On Monday morning, we went in for what we thought was a routine check up of the baby, when the Dr was unable to locate a heartbeat through the Doppler. He then did an ultrasound and it was confirmed that there was no longer a heartbeat and that the baby had passed away.
The baby was 15 weeks along and too large for me to have a D&C, so they scheduled us to induce labor yesterday morning at 9am. It was a long, hard day but at 7:30pm, I did deliver the baby... which was a little boy.
John and I were both able to hold the baby, and have an opportunity to say goodbye and tell him we loved him. I even fell asleep with him in my arms- which is something I did with both Jack and Anna Grace when they were babies. It was so hard to let go, knowing this was the only time I would get to hold my baby.
We named him James.
His little body was send to the funeral home for cremation - and John and I will decide what to do with the ashes at a later time. We know there won't be much, but we wanted whatever there was to be with us.
On Monday afternoon, I was absolutely inconsolable. John and I were both just terribly heartbroken. As he and I sat together and cried- something came to him. He remembered something his dad had said right before he passed away. He said that one of his biggest regrets was that he would not be around to see his grandchildren. As soon as he reminded me of this- I felt a great sense of peace... that little baby James will be with his Grandfather in heaven- how happy he must be to have a grandchild with him. I never met John's dad but I always imagined him to have John's quiet, gentle spirit- and I am so glad to know that someone like my John was the one to meet him in heaven.

Thank you for the prayers, emails, cards, flowers, and food that you all have sent to us. We are so blessed with amazing friends and family.

Thank you for your continued prayers through this grieving time.

Love, John and Suzanne

Through the 1st trimester...

Well, I made it through the first trimester... I was beginning to think I was just going to sleep through the whole thing. I was not tired at all with the twins, but this one baby has worn me out- all I want to do is sleep. I am beginning to feel a lot better- and actually able to stay awake past 8:00 PM. John has been great with helping with the kids, helping around the house- and he has even made dinner a few times (mexican food, of course).

We have had just a few issues with this pregnancy with some bleeding, but the Dr says I am still doing fine. I went to see him just last week and heard the baby's heart beat strong.

I go next week to the fetal specialist for a check up and to meet with the genetic specialist. Although Goldenhar's Syndrome is not genetic, since I did have a child with a birth defect, they will keep an eye on me and the baby just to make sure all is doing well. I am also hoping to find out the sex of the baby sooner than later- since I will go to the specialist with the high-def ultrasound machines (I found out with the twins around this time). John calls it "his boy" but I am hoping for another girl!!! I will be happy if it is a boy, but I did want a sister for Anna Grace- after all, where would I be without my sisters??? Oh well- if it is a boy we can always try for a baby #4!!! :-)

I attached a funny video of John playing with Jack- he is screaming like a girl but he really did love it!

Love to all,
Suzanne

A new baby on the way!

Hello family and friends,

John and I are very excited to share the news that we are expecting baby #3! We went to the Dr. earlier this week for our ultrasound and were VERY excited to see that it is just ONE!!! I had prepared myself for the very good possibility of having twins again (since my odds were 1 in 12) but, selfishly, I really was hoping for the experience of one baby.

John and I are very excited- we love our twins so much- they are everything in the world to us- so we are thrilled to bring another someone to love into our family.

Thank you for sharing in our joy!

We appreciate all your prayers,

Love, Suzy, John, Jack and Anna Grace